Life Transitions Celebrations, Ceremonies, and Counseling The Ethical Culture Movement recognizes and teaches the worth of each individual. This is a principle which we express in the practice of our daily lives, in service to the community, and also in personal ceremonies for the important passages of our lives. Ceremonies to meet our emotional needs at times of greatest joy or deepest sorrow are available through Ethical Culture and their Leaders. Both members and non-members are welcome to inquire about wedding ceremonies, naming ceremonies, counseling, memorial and funeral services.
Weddings & Ceremonies The institution of marriage is recreated in the individual lives of each couple who choose to marry. The Ethical Culture wedding ceremony emphasizes the mutuality of the relationship, the trust and work required, the giving and accepting of promises that have serious import and a long future, and the creativity of love.
The individuality of the couple leads us to believe that weddings should be individually planned to express those who marry. It is customary for the Ethical Culture Leader who will officiate at a wedding to have preliminary discussions with the couple to get to know them and to understand their hopes in and for each other. The details of the ceremony are worked out at that time.
Leaders are empowered by law in the states in which there are Ethical Societies to perform wedding ceremonies. With special application, it is often possible for them to be authorized to conduct the ceremony in other parts of the country.
Other ceremonies of mutual commitment can be arranged to fit individual circumstances
Memorial Services When a loved one dies, our primary concern turns to those still living. Anne Morrow Lindbergh said we have a need “to develop a new relationship with the dead”. In the Ethical Culture approach to memorial services, we focus not on death, but on the meaning of that individual’s life for us who still live and feel the loss. We seek a way to interpret what has happened, to know finally without despair, and continuity without forgetting. We depend on inner resources and on other people, rather than on formulae and answers.
The Ethical Society Leader usually meets with the family of the person who has died, and respects their wishes on the form or type of service to be held. Sometimes a quiet burial service is desired. More often, families and friends prefer to hold a memorial meeting or service a few days after cremation or burial has already taken place. At such a service, the Leader may be asked to speak, together with friends and relatives. Specific arrangements are made between the family and the Leader. While the Ethical Movement does not prescribe whether cremation or burial is proper, most members tend toward simplicity and avoid needless expenditures.
The memorial service itself often becomes a celebration of life. Since the memorial service may be a time for sharing memories among some people who will not meet again, the family often chooses to record the service. Family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and children are often invited, regardless of their religious affiliation, as the service is appropriate for sharing among persons of diverse beliefs.
Naming and Welcoming Children The Naming Ceremony is a joyful public occasion when the child is officially welcomed into the social community of its parents. It is a two-way celebration. The parents open their arms to show the child to the community, and the community recognized the new person. There is a grave responsibility and hopeful love; often tears, laughter, and the giggling of siblings; in the moment of announcing the name of a newly arrived baby.
In welcoming a new child, the parents and the community celebrate their commitment to nurture the child in a caring and responsible way. To protect from harm, while exposing to learning; to love and challenge; to be there, and to let the child be herself or himself.
The Naming Ceremony often follows a Sunday Platform at the Ethical Society, or it may take place at home. Arrangements for a naming ceremony are made between the parents and the leader.
Counseling The Ethical Culture Movement reconizes that people have basic needs for communication and support at times of personal difficulty or ethical decisions. When people have a need to discuss their problems, the may turn to an Ethical Leader for counsel. The Leader is trained and experienced in listening and problem-centered counseling. If the difficulty is longer term, involving (for example) ego damage, addiction, or family disfunction, the Leader can offer sympathetic guidance and referral to other professionals.
There is a natural relation between the planning of memorial services and the counseling of a bereaved person or family. These will often take place at the same time.
There are kinds of loss and difficulty that are common in our communities, so that support groups may already exist (or may be initiated) to bring together people who have suffered death of a spouse or lover, divorce, loss of a child, loss of a job, infertility, or other painful personal losses that are better for being shared with those who really understand. If you think that you want to contact others, ask the Leader if a support group does or could exist.
