BSEC: Memorial Services

When a loved one dies, our primary concern turns to those still living. Anne Morrow Lindbergh said we have a need “to develop a new relationship with the dead”. In the Ethical Culture approach to memorial services, we focus not on death, but on the meaning of that individual’s life for us who still live and feel the loss. We seek a way to interpret what has happened, to know finally without despair, and continuity without forgetting. We depend on inner resources and on other people, rather than on formulae and answers.

The Ethical Society Leader usually meets with the family of the person who has died, and respects their wishes on the form or type of service to be held. Sometimes a quiet burial service is desired. More often, families and friends prefer to hold a memorial meeting or service a few days after cremation or burial has already taken place. At such a service, the Leader may be asked to speak, together with friends and relatives. Specific arrangements are made between the family and the Leader. While the Ethical Movement does not prescribe whether cremation or burial is proper, most members tend toward simplicity and avoid needless expenditures.

The memorial service itself often becomes a celebration of life. Since the memorial service may be a time for sharing memories among some people who will not meet again, the family often chooses to record the service. Family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and children are often invited, regardless of their religious affiliation, as the service is appropriate for sharing among persons of diverse beliefs.


	Memorial Services
	When a loved one dies, our primary concern turns to those still living. Anne Morrow Lindbergh said we have a need “to develop a new relationship with the dead”. In the Ethical Culture approach to memorial services, we focus not on death, but on the meaning of that individual’s life for us who still live and feel the loss. We seek a way to interpret what has happened, to know finally without despair, and continuity without forgetting. We depend on inner resources and on other people, rather than on formulae and answers. The Ethical Society Leader usually meets with the family of the person who has died, and respects their wishes on the form or type of service to be held. Sometimes a quiet burial service is desired. More often, families and friends prefer to hold a memorial meeting or service a few days after cremation or burial has already taken place. At such a service, the Leader may be asked to speak, together with friends and relatives. Specific arrangements are made between the family and the Leader. While the Ethical Movement does not prescribe whether cremation or burial is proper, most members tend toward simplicity and avoid needless expenditures. The memorial service itself often becomes a celebration of life. Since the memorial service may be a time for sharing memories among some people who will not meet again, the family often chooses to record the service. Family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and children are often invited, regardless of their religious affiliation, as the service is appropriate for sharing among persons of diverse beliefs.
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